Wasteful thoughts

I'm thinking about an imaginary place that I can store my ego chatter, my negative feelings and useless anxiety.  If I were to imagine this imaginary dumping ground for my crap, what would it look like.  The color purple comes to mind and a vast sphere circled in golden twine, just three times.  The color purple has a reputation for indicating good judgement and spiritual fulfillment.  It is said that surrounding your energetic field in purple stimulates peace of mind. There is a sense of magic that the color invokes, a sense of royalty and warmth.  In mediation the Crown chakra is symbolized by the color violet.  So it is an active possibility.  A pull toward meditation in order to achieve a higher understanding of self, imagination and a decreased sense of tension--a virtual dumping ground for my waste.

Small Steps Toward a Big Challenge!

As I thought about moving with vitality today I realized that my mood and temperament can be considered the biggest threat to my success and happiness.  I am easily pleased and easily displeased. I am sensitive towards energy, my physical body and the discomfort that I can feel. Discomfort varies day to day and it travels through different body parts, joints and actions. 
So today I concentrated on pedestrian movements and in particular those movements directly related to the comforts of something physical, my home.  As I tidied up, organized and scrubbed, the discomfort traveled with me from task to task.  My son and I had a brilliant lunch, put our feet up for about a half hour and then I realized a truth.  I felt emotionally ready for the task of body maintenance and I enjoyed the routine of stretches and bends.  I used gravity to continue to ground my muscles and my spirit.  So it wasn't a day for high energy or high spirits, but it was a day that I found some light and relief in the ordinary and the simple.

It Began Long Ago and I Ignored

It was about 3 years ago that I officially stopped dancing and moving.  The money, time and new career that I had begun made it impossible to dance.  Well, the truth is I made it impossible.  I had exhausted my reserve and in the place of joy other elements of life slipped into my kineosphere.

The story comes full circle.  Six months ago I met a Feldenkrais teacher that would work on the neurology and I started to reconstruct.   First the spirit.  I started to assess all of the good and value that existed in my daily life.  I re-established contact with friends and began to share again the details of my life and the "truths of me".  

Two months ago I stepped back to the barre and that is where the journey continues.  The realization that a day not danced is a day not lived for me.  I'm a better mother, partner and friend now that I took the First Step again.